Will Rogers

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts…

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when…

Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious…

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for…

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if…

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else…

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year…

An economist’s guess is liable to be as good as anybody else’s…

Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works…

Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for…

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time…

Politics is applesauce…

Don’t gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till…

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out…

The best way out of a difficulty is through it…