Will Rogers

It’s a good thing we don’t get all the government we pay for…

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them…

It’s easy being a humorist when you’ve got the whole government working for you…

It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts…

The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is…

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he…

If I studied all my life, I couldn’t think up half the number of funny…

People are getting smarter nowadays they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their…

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something…

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do…

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself…

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we…

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it…

We don’t seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and…

The United States never lost a war or won a conference…