Erma Bombeck

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a…

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion…

Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other…

God created man, but I could do better…

I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their…

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth…

What’s with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions…

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until…

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that…

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up…

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts…

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity…

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into…

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat…