Woody Allen

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy…

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job…

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans…

If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything…

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up…

I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice…

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through…

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept…

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come…

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons…