Woody Allen

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle…

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It…

It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune…

Marriage is the death of hope…

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small…

I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear…

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else…

I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own…

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in…

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead…

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television…

I am two with nature…

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by…

I failed to make the chess team because of my height…

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with…