Tim Allen

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car…

I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive…

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar…

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and…

In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys…

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship…

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his…

Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with…

I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I…

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle…