Ron White

I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow…

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane…

But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the…

I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply…

People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink…

The next time you have a thought… let it go…

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real…

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I…

I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part…

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take…

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to…

I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds…

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered…