George Burns

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city…

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold…

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday…

You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old…

Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life…

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything…

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age…

I can’t afford to die I’d lose too much money…

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a…

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I…

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick…

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of…

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed…

Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere…

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die…