Bob Hope

I have too much money invested in sweaters…

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for…

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake…

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not…

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money…

If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of…

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy…

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast…

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing…

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you…

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I’ll do it…

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that…

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live…

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle…