Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing…

I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry…

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting…

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of…

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I…

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for…

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze…

In America there are two classes of travel – first class, and with children…

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to…

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying…

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have…

Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini…