Joan Rivers

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or…

Don’t tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won’t respect you. For…

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on…

If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor…

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later…

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were…

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds…

What are people going to do? Fire me? I’ve been fired before. Not book me…