Adam Carolla

I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that…

My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated…

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are…

I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to…

It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything…

I think we’re getting to the point where everyone’s getting fat and everyone’s getting allergic…

I don’t know anything about computers…

You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things…

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future…

People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went…